“Don’t take this personally”
I was over reading happyduck’s post on Fat and Feminine in Toronto (side note: Yeah canadian bloggers) about insults and how the person who’s usually hurled the insult starts off or eventually mutters the phrase “Don’t take this personally” “I mean no offense”… Now I will admit i have been know to say these myself, who hasn’t? But her post got me thinking because it kinda applies to what’s been going on in my little circle of friends (I’ll spare the gory details but two pals had a fight and aren’t talking).
But are we saying these phrases to make ourselves justify the insulting things we say? By saying the phrase does it somehow in our minds make it ok? That the person whom were talking to we assume will “understand” our intentions are pure? That it somehow transforms the negative insulting thing into something positive?
Is the phrase “Don’t take this personally” more to do with justifying and making ourselves feel better about putting someone/some people down?
I find on the recieving end as soon as that phrase has been said it makes me even more angrier than if the person would have just been bluntly insulting in the first place. At least if your going to be mean, own it and (hopefully) feel bad about it! Geez… If your going to make someone else feel bad, might as well that you feel bad for saying it too. Or maybe in the first place if we find ourselves using that phrase we should just shut or f-ing gobs because who’s business is it anyways to hurt someone else or be insulting… The world definatly wouldn’t miss insulting asses (like me sometimes) out there anyways.
Is it just me?
I was over at Kate Harding’s website and then via there started browsing the plus sized bathing suits online for plus sized women… Is it just me or are those models what i’d consider NORMAL beautiful weighted ladies.
That’s the thing i find about plus sized clothing is that the models (although very beautiful) are what i would consider a normal weight, not plus sized at all. Many of them also have flat stomachs… I have yet to see an actual plus sized lady without the wonderous belly buldge (I have two! although it only looks like one in pictures).
I’m not offended that these ladies are the way they are, but i would love for someone anyone selling plus sized clothes to get a model who actually has the extra curves many of us fat ladies have.
I have to laugh
Ok so i was searching for studies like i normally do, and i came across this title “Predictors of death in Seniors” now i have not read the study or anything but the title alone made me stop and laugh. Predictors of death… umm well it’s not really that hard to figure out… We all die, it’s call being mortal is it not? Just some take different paths to death than others… I had a good laugh, and i hope you guys too.
Is it time to say they’ve gone too far yet?
Medical News Today reported on a study on… wait for it…. “The Obesity Virus” Yup that’s right ladies and gentleman… the hysteria is taking on new heights… I didn’t know whether to laugh or what when i first read the line. In reading the article i can understand why they called it that. It’s a specific strain of a cold virus that’s been linked to gaining fat cells. But really what’s next? They’ve described Obesity as a disease, now it’s a form a virus… Can we start calling fat what it really is? A natural process of our bodies to store energy. Aside from this new cold strain, fat in and of it’s self hasn’t been the cause of anything, at least not in my readings of the medical world. There are a multitude of other factors that go into the diseases that are linked with fat right now. In fact I know many many people despite their size that have diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and kidney disease. If indeed we are to believe the fat mongering haters if we eliminate fat (which isn’t possible we need it to live) then we wouldn’t have those diseases… so How do they explain thin people having them?
It’s ok to be fat
My mother is famous in my world for being critical of all I do. She’s my mother, it’s just her way. Well since getting involved with the Fat Acceptance Movement i’ve been slowly easing my mother into the concept by telling her various studies that hadn’t made it into main stream media. She could tell that i was happier, and she was happy for me. But i knew she just didn’t get it. I don’t know why i wanted my mother to “get it”. She’s big like me, so is my dad. She’s always been critical of my own weight saying i should lose, that i’d be healthier and happier (but as we all know healthier isn’t always the case). I will admit that i am not healthy at this point in my life. I acknowledge this, but i am also working to encorporate a balanced diet and activity into my lifestyle (I will not go into how i was, am, and am going to be, because it’s irrelevant).
In working on my latest project putting up studies about how fat isn’t all bad as it’s cracked up to be my mother went into one of her famous clingy modes and wanted to watch tv in my presences. She asked what i was doing so I told her. I explained everything even shared all the studies and what they said. My mother immediately got confused, asking “don’t you want to be healthy” and various other questions we’ve all heard, when i answered as intellengently as possible she started to stammer
“But I don’t understand….. what your saying is…. It’s OK to be fat”
Relief crossed my face as FINALLY my mother got it! Yes i enthusiastically replied. That’s it to a tee! It’s Ok to be fat.
That simple sentence that had been long gone unstated between the two of us finally found the forground. My mother finally got it, she couldn’t argue, she couldn’t reply. She ponder at the meaning of the sentence for a bit and then asked more about the studies i had told her about. Before she used to brush me off saying Oh it’s just my daughter bringing up studies that can’t possibly hold any weight. She was surprised to learn of the reputable journals that published these studies, that they were methologically ok (some of them). And the evening ended. I didn’t think much of it for a bit, just happy to have my mother finally understand just this one little very important part of my life. She accepted it finally, and was ok with it. I knew i wouldn’t get the lose weight talk or any other critical messages about my body. I think in a way it changed how she viewed her body (or at least i hoped).
My Aunt and cousins came down for the weekend. I wasn’t going to bring up FA with them. My aunt and younger cousin are large women larger than I in some respects, and my other cousin is thin as a pole.
But the subject came up. I used all tact since i knew if might be a sensitive area especially since my Aunt has had heart surgery and is still quite a worry for us all. My thin cousin has body esteem issues, and I was delighted to find that she shares my views on body acceptance, she struggles but she has the right idea and that’s all anyone could ask. I told them of the studies about heavy people having increased survival w/ heart conditions. My Aunt looked dumbfounded and as she was going to brush the idea off, and then in all surprise my mother chimmed in. “She’s right, I saw them myself, there’s lots of studies” Everyone was flabbergasted.
Me most of all not for the study but that my mother was standing up and fighting my views as well. Not in only the studies but in FA. (not that there was a fight). It was nice. She does really finally get it!
I can’t take it anymore
Wow… I seriously can’t take it anymore… All this fat bashing, fat-phobic society and journalism….
“You must be told that you are fat so that you will do something to change it”
1. It’s none of your business
2. If i don’t want to change it it’s none of your business
3. Berating, insulting, etc etc does not help anyone “change” themselves. It lowers self-esteem, self-worth, and makes a person feel bad about themselves when it wasn’t any of your business in the first place
4. We are not BLIND! We know we’re fat. We do not need ever Tom Dick and Harry (or Jane, Shannon, and Michelle) on the street stating the OBVIOUS!
I’m working on putting some educational pages up about Fat/Obesity, Fat Acceptance. I just need some permissions for certain things, and to actually find some other things for other ideas to put into it. I just can’t take it anymore and SI is getting a revamp to include my opinions, a place to find research etc.
Where’s the ethics gone in journalism?
I have to wonder, while i continue to read posts about the various news articles about fat that misrepresent, twist, and skew their stories about research concerning fat. I’m sure everyone in the fatosphere has already heard and read the much talked about article about how growth spurts “cause” obesity, and if you visit junkfoodscience seen Sandy’s post about how the study in question wasn’t even done on humans!
What happened to responsible, ethical journalism… Was it ever there? Is the need for readership the only strive, or is the media concerned with the quality and factuality of accurate reporting. Did this so called journalist stop to think of the further panic that such a statement would make, leading many unsuspecting histeria ridden parents to not adequatley feed their children? To teens so consumed with self-image turn to eating disorders and unhealthy relationships with food… Did they take into consideration the fall out of writing in a way in which to decieve readers that this study was human related?
I haven’t read the article myself, but way too many times have i seen irressponsible reporting being done in the name of anti-obesity.
I just wish that our societies would stop and think about their actions for once, and actually critically look at what’s being sad. I’m sick of my mother rolling her eyes at me when i cite new studies that show that fat people have less severe strokes and survive them more often than our skinny counterparts. I’m sick of being accused of encouring being to become overweight… I’m not. What i am trying to encourage is being ok with being fat, or thin, or “normal”. It’s about knowing that you were built the way you were and being ok with it. With living up to your standards and not someone else’s. It’s about feeling good in your own skin because let’s face it, it’s all we have.
Society’s beauty standards will change, and everything else changes, but we ourselves in physical form have only one body and it’s about accepting and being happy with it.
It’s also seeing and acknowledging that the media doesn’t have our interest at heart. They’re more concerned with money as is much these days. I wonder when i have kids how will i go about teaching them to think critically. How do you teach that there is value in the media, but to take it with a grain of salt, and to see for yourself if what they’re saying is accurate.
Media should be interested in factual stories, giving the reader all the facts, and not their version. It should be impartial unless it’s clearly told that it’s an opinion piece.
Back in Canada
Well I’m back!
I loved Cancun! I have to say mexican are indeed very friendly people, and what a wonderful culture they have there (or at least what i saw). It was kinda sad coming into Canada on friday from the wonderfully sunny warm mexico, to the dreary grey, rainy streets of Montreal. Then i got stuck in customs and searched. urg. More an inconvience than anything since well I’m a law abiding citizen. It was nice to finally be back in my own bed, cuddling up to my furry cat who just couldn’t get enough of her momma. lol.
Now that i’m back i’m thrust into the ever stream of preparing for my new job, an upcoming GI appointment, and getting a bus pass (which i haven’t been on our public buses since my teens). It’ll be a very busy week to say the least, and then i also have to jet across town to give my final notice to my other employer since i was waiting on some red tape that if it didn’t go through i wouldn’t have gotten the job. Oh i’m babbling now.
It was quite interesting to read all the stuff over at Big Fat Blog forums that i’d missed, and getting updated with my friends who i missed dearly while being away. Geez it seems longer than a week. I have to say I’m sad to write that the world unfortunately doesn’t seem to have gotten much smarter since my vacation… in fact i’d venture to say they’ve become more ignorant. Mexico i must say was very fat friendly! I was even offer a “made in cancun baby” haha. I though it was a cute flirt, but all in all the flirting was tasteful and not overbearing as was my experience in the dominican (i was proposed to three time in one week there… urg and not by anyone attractive in my opinion nor my own age…)
Other news…. I am now venturing into the world of wikipedia to help out with my research skills to help further the improvements on the Fat Acceptance Movement page. So hopefully i learn more about how to work with it… Although i much rather find articles and pass them along than write. I’m also still working on educational parts for this website/blog regarding the size acceptance. I’ll add more section to things eventually but fat acceptance is very dear to my heart right now. It’s absolutely shameful how society will treat people based on their size.
Don’t miss me, I will be back
So tomorrow i get on a plane to fly all the way to Cancun! Wooohooooo!!!! I’m a little part excited, with a dash of nervousness. 
Anyways So i’ll be gone for a week, and when i get back i will be back! lol.
I make no sense i do realize this. My head is full of all the little biddies going on these days, like the fact i’ve fallen for my best friend who doesn’t feel the same way. Oh do i hate that that has happened. Oh well moving on because trust me it’s best. I’m also have been emersed in fat acceptance research articles, and the fatosphere blogging world.
So a little peek into my brain right now: *insert name here* arg. Fat Good, anti-fat researchers dumb… who says maintains weight when the results clearly show steady increase of weight? Can anyone say illogical! Wikipedia Fat acceptance talk page… wow… do i even want to touch this one. Basicly it shows just how much there needs to be a movement, and education because of some people’s complete ignorance and false beliefs. Yes I stuff my face with twinkies and sit on the couch all day that’s why i weight 260lbs. WRONG. I eat the same foods as everyone does, have an ok active lifestyle of running all these errands. I consider myself healthy in that I manage my (non weight related) disease effectively (crohn’s), and I don’t put up with bullshit comments on the street about how I look. I feel sorry for those who approach me i can be nasty, but my friends describe me as sweet, and awesome.
wow yeah little peek into my brain i’m a little everywhere and long winded. ha. Well Hope you all enjoy the snow. I know it’s melting but it’s snow on april 4th for the past few years hence spending my bday in cancun where if it snows I’m going to scream! lol
Dieting is the new Anti-feminist approach?
I have to say that as I learn more and more about the misinformation, and myths associated with food, health, and what the media’s teaching on weightism these days, I have begun to wonder the same thing as what Sandy said over at Junkfood Science.
“early feminist activists to see dieting and weight concerns as a way to keep women preoccupied with food, filled with guilt and self-hatred, more easily influenced by others, and too mentally and physically exhausted to succeed professionally and politically”
This quote was in response to the findings of Dr. Keys in starvation experiement he did in post WW2 days. You can read the very educational review on JunkFood Science’s page.
You have to admit it makes alot of sense! It’s socially acceptable these days for men to be over weight but not for women. Despite all the hog wash they want you to believe about being fat in the first place you’d think there’d be no double standard.
I encourage you all to get educated on the facts about Fat! You’d be surprised at what society wants you to believe, when in fact it’s not all true, and mostly distorted.
